4:20 Quotes

2006-07-28T11:03:00.000-04:00

The moment can change at any moment.

2006-05-17T13:57:00.000-04:00

The Pope used our toilet..... Holy Crap!

2006-04-06T23:36:00.000-04:00

That thing's got all kinds of buttons and knobs and sliders and twisters and giggles and laughs and dingdongs and whoosits and other miscellaneous apparati.

2006-04-04T23:53:00.000-04:00

Ever wonder why it takes me so much less time to brush my teeth? I'll tell you: Same sized tractor, much smaller yard.

2006-03-19T23:52:00.000-05:00

A gaggle of doofuses.

2006-03-18T23:50:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here watching the cheese disappear into the cheese monster!

2006-03-15T16:27:00.000-05:00

Cool java beans and applets on a fancy silver servelet.
(Contributed by Pete)

2006-02-13T16:44:00.000-05:00

Just where do you think the word "casserole" came from anyway? I'll tell you. It's French, for "cat bowl".

2005-11-17T11:01:00.000-05:00

The evening creeps by in a delightfully liesurely manner.

2005-11-08T11:57:00.000-05:00

The sun is a post-holocaust orange ball.

2005-11-07T11:54:00.000-05:00

The sky is armageddon orange.

2005-11-04T09:43:00.000-05:00

Is that a pepperoni in your peripheral or are you just happy to be gaming?

2005-11-03T19:07:00.000-05:00

We've got too much shit in this house. Maybe we need to have a sale. A going out of shitness sale.

2005-11-01T21:22:00.000-05:00

You can either enjoy eating the popcorn, or spend your time looking for the burnt kernels.

2005-10-10T12:44:00.000-04:00

Who should not take ENBREL^®?
You should not take ENBREL^® if you have ever had an allergic reaction to ENBREL^®.

2005-10-08T12:43:00.000-04:00

If you are an insecure person with an overbearing friend, you should go to McDonalds'!

2005-10-06T12:43:00.000-04:00

Buffalo is a big honkin' TRAIN WRECK of a football team.

2005-10-05T12:42:00.000-04:00

Ice Cream Pudding

2005-10-04T10:47:00.000-04:00

Toyota: "Choose any direction, as long as it's forward."
ERX: "... cuz our cars don't go in reverse!"

2005-10-03T23:45:00.000-04:00

Several sets of sexy sheets.

2005-09-15T22:43:00.000-04:00

... but if you were a prune, you'd be an awesome prune!

2005-09-08T11:51:00.000-04:00

Two Pees In A Toilet .com

2005-09-02T21:23:00.000-04:00

What the hell's a half moon?
It's when you only show one ass cheek!

2005-09-01T12:28:00.000-04:00

They're more stupid than we are mondo.

2005-08-18T12:41:00.000-04:00

One of the best gifts you can give to a person is to understand them.

2005-08-08T12:41:00.000-04:00

The Undead Pig Pig!

2005-08-05T12:40:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to rehabilitate the fries.

2005-08-02T12:35:00.000-04:00

The pyrex itself would become molten boulder-ish.

2005-07-18T10:21:00.000-04:00

The Electric White Hut.

2005-07-17T04:20:00.000-04:00

Pedro the Plantain!

2005-07-12T11:56:00.000-04:00

Poi For Wine

2005-07-01T11:33:00.000-04:00

The transitive law of genital juices.

2005-06-20T10:32:00.000-04:00

Is the population of the world a uniformly distributed random number generator? Meaning that, if you asked 1000 people to name a number between 1 and 10, would you get about 100 of each?

2005-06-06T12:05:00.000-04:00

Can you believe we were up until 4:30 am playing games last night?
I guess you'll have this sort of thing in a small house with no parents.

2005-06-05T01:04:00.000-04:00

The dancing beer bottle of anti-joy.

2005-04-28T09:38:00.000-04:00

E (watching N sleep): You have the most beautiful eyes in the world.
N (talking in her sleep): They're closed, silly!

2005-04-17T20:59:00.000-04:00

Ahhh... the delightful smell of burnt bug.

2005-03-30T14:33:00.000-05:00

... And on the 8th day, man created beer. But it took him 2 weeks to ferment it!

2005-03-27T10:31:00.000-05:00

Uh oh, we're outta Oh's. Let's go see if we have any X's.

2005-03-07T09:54:00.000-05:00

I'll put my axle in your bushing. Oh my... your bushing is blushing!

2005-03-06T00:16:00.000-05:00

Hey! Quit pressing my fun button!

2005-02-21T14:31:00.000-05:00

If you get a decaf Café Americano, is it a Decafé Americano?

2005-02-16T15:32:00.000-05:00

As seen on a unix terminal window:

"A lot of people are responsible for the success of the Internet," said
Broken pipe

2005-02-15T10:23:00.000-05:00

When you create a primary, you are remembering the future.

2005-02-09T09:49:00.000-05:00

The high beams make your car high so it can see in the dark better.

2005-02-07T11:27:00.000-05:00

Don't give your watch to the Philadelphia Eagles - they'd just lose it. That's how bad they are with clock management.

2005-02-01T11:13:00.000-05:00

These days I think they put more WD-40 in the new computers so they run smoother.

2005-01-29T01:41:00.000-05:00

An intern is an assistant... with benefits.

2005-01-27T11:32:00.000-05:00

People get very defensive about their religion. But does it work the other way around? Is the thing you get defensive about your religion?

2005-01-19T13:56:00.000-05:00

Juice Groove

2005-01-18T15:49:00.000-05:00

Maybe the person who has a towel can get the person who doesn't have a towel a towel.

2005-01-16T13:35:00.000-05:00

It's different. I've got to sniff it.

2005-01-06T22:18:00.000-05:00

I am all knowing...within the limits of my knowledge.

2005-01-05T22:19:00.000-05:00

When you choose between the lesser of two evils, in the end you still end up with evil.

2005-01-03T10:11:00.000-05:00

The clay golem slows down monsters by getting them high.

2004-12-13T13:40:00.000-05:00

Don't give your watch to the Washington Redskins - they'd just lose it. That's how bad they are with clock management.

2004-11-18T11:08:00.000-05:00

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet the hen of his dreams!

2004-11-10T10:06:00.000-05:00

Rows of icy whiteness on patchy fields of green.

2004-11-04T21:33:00.000-05:00

Beliefs are toys!

2004-10-18T22:29:00.000-04:00

The fine print at the bottom of the commercial says, "Professional Driver. Closed Course." But there are passengers in the car. Are they Professional Passengers?

2004-10-17T01:32:00.000-04:00

Logistical Snafoos.

2004-10-16T01:08:00.000-04:00

Your calibration has nothing to do with my taste buds.

2004-10-15T11:31:00.000-04:00

Circle Surround? I guess they must have run out of tangents.

2004-10-14T10:33:00.000-04:00

It's not that we think the same thing. It's that we become, for a brief moment, one mind.

2004-10-13T21:09:00.000-04:00

The Johnson family. Former Dish owners. They switched to paper plates.

2004-10-10T20:40:00.000-04:00

Have I told you in the last five minutes how much I love you?

2004-10-09T13:16:00.000-04:00

Hilarity!

2004-10-08T13:36:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you just have to poke it from the other end.

2004-10-07T23:11:00.000-04:00

All 1's, all the time. Welcome to the 11:11 channel.

2004-10-06T11:35:00.000-04:00

Ozric Tentacles is 21st century hippie music.

2004-10-05T16:43:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, when your mind isn't working, you have to resort to logic.

2004-10-04T13:19:00.000-04:00

What are you doing?!? Don't be clickin' my buttons!

2004-10-03T22:07:00.000-04:00

You've got to leave the past in the past.

2004-10-02T21:29:00.000-04:00

Deckard Cain: You have quite a treasure there in that horadric staff!
Eric: Why, thank you!

2004-10-01T19:23:00.000-04:00

In football, you can't be a one horse pony.

2004-09-30T21:28:00.000-04:00

Snakes hate wirenuts.

2004-09-29T09:50:00.000-04:00

Every once in a while you've got to get down and play.

2004-09-28T11:40:00.000-04:00

Phrase of the day: Left-handed Mustard.

2004-09-27T15:03:00.000-04:00

If you were ever able to get all the way to the end of pi or e, they would end in 69!

2004-09-26T11:32:00.000-04:00

Maybe houses are chimneys for some greater being who likes to have a fire once in a while.

2004-09-25T15:15:00.000-04:00

A cast iron frying pan is in a whole different category of kitchen munitions.

2004-09-24T13:43:00.000-04:00

Our gas bill must smoke weed cuz it's always high!

2004-09-23T21:56:00.000-04:00

Eric is explaining to the people who paid for his education what he learned.

2004-09-22T11:11:00.000-04:00

The walrus with the sixteeen-inch dick sat billowing in the clouds.

2004-09-21T21:39:00.000-04:00

Calvin's transmorgrifier is just a nuclear reactor!

2004-09-20T10:40:00.000-04:00

The hurricane came and left fall in its wake.

2004-09-19T11:59:00.000-04:00

You're ripe, but you're not ready to pick yet.

2004-09-18T14:37:00.000-04:00

The holes have gotten spacier.

2004-09-17T10:56:00.000-04:00

If you get high at a high altitude, do you get higher?

2004-09-16T00:34:00.000-04:00

Do you know what time it is? It's --:--. It's so late, we've run off the end of the clock!